I’ve been stuck in a royal rut (this word has got some really peculiar contradictions going on!) lately. I can’t get past a really simple hurdle, which has just created a mountain of low-selfesteem and an angry force of constant screeching frustration! I swear, my darling father called me last night to give me the friendly advice that my mother would probably love salmon for Mother’s Day dinner and I completely freaked out (never having made it before) and when I then looked around my apartment, found Christmas decorations, papers absolutely everywhere and just…well…every mother’s worst disgusting nightmare for their daughters, basically – I broke down and sobbed! Time, working for an income, working through texts I don’t understand, trying to force my fingers to write, trying desperately to get the post-it notes in my mind in some form of order, desperately trying to avoid my advisor – has just left me completely exhausted and I’m just facing this gigantic steel door that refuses to budge when I slam my head into it!
So when I was lying in my bed STILL wide awake at 4 am this morning it finally dawned on me!!

No freakin wonder I’m all mentally deranged and wobbly! I’ve been too buisy reading about, writing about and defining gaming that I haven’t given games the quality time they desserve!!!! And my mind the proper workout/enjoyment/stimulation/relaxation it desserves!!

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